“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
-Neil Gaiman,The Sandman Vol 9:The Kindly Ones
I’ll confess that I’ve never been in love with anyone.Sure,I had a crush on a girl during my school days that fell by the wayside(turns out,the girl already had a boyfriend)..But other than that,I’ve never tried falling in love with anyone.Maybe,it’s my own fears that prevent me from doing so,or the fact that I’ve seen countless guys do stupid shit for a love that would probably break up in a month or two at the most,or the thought of not able to handle the pain and heartbreak that would accompany a breakup…or maybe I’m just a lazy guy who values his sleep,friends and everything else more than this.Even so,I’ve been fascinated by guys who fall in love,especially the guys who are in a one-sided relationship with the girl.
Yesterday,I saw the latest Karan Johar movie,”Ae Dil Hai Mushkil” with my friends.It seems that the theater bungled up in their response when we asked if the movie had subtitles.Apparently,there was no subtitles and barring one guy,me and the other guys couldn’t exactly understand Hindi.Still,the film was very good,with great performances from all(All those years of watching Hindi movies with subtitles paid off to an extent…and of course,we tortured that one friend of ours who knew Hindi for the translation).It’s the age old story of how the guy falls in love with the girl,but the girl sees him as a friend(besides,she’s already in love with someone else).It’s Ranbir and Anushka’s performance in the second half that bought a tear to my eye.I can’t spoil anything,but let’s just say,our hero won’t be lucky.But still,he pines for the heroine’s heart in every way possible.I could only think,”Why?Your story won’t have an happy ending…She thinks of you as nothing more than a friend.Your one sided love is still gonna stay that way….Why put yourself through all this pain,man?Why?”.The title song has these lines that only made me ask these questions of mine even more…
Tune diya hai jo
Woh dard hi sahi
Tujhse mila hai toh
Inaam hai mera
Translation:Even if I have received only pain from you, As I have received it from you, it is a reward for me
This is one variation of the question that runs through my head every time some guy says he’s fallen in love with a girl.Only 1% percent of the couples that started their journey in college actually make it together to the end…The rest?Break ups for pretty asinine reasons,Time-pass love,Misunderstandings,etc,etc.The pain that envelops both parties in question is humongous.I’ve seen guys and girls,who were pretty much the definition of motormouths,stay mum for a long time after a break-up.I’ve seen that pain taken to the extreme on the news when girls are abused because they didn’t accept the so-called “pure love” of the guy or when the guy or girl goes suicidal(You can just interpret said pain as psychotic in this instance).That’s one thing I’ll never understand…Why go through all that pain for few moments of love?If your love is the real deal,then why did you guys break up for a stupid reason?If your love is so true,then why don’t you believe in him/her to do the right thing the same way he/she does?
I’ve heard my friends in love say that the feeling of love is the most beautiful thing in the world.Maybe it’s because that it’s the most beautiful feeling in the world that the pain that accompanies it is all the more intense and world-shattering.But,are those few moments of love enough to wade through a sea of hurt?Are those few moments so beautiful that people would accept all the hate and pain that comes after a break-up?Are those few moments in love really that worth it that everything else in life isn’t even a priority?Maybe they’re worth it,maybe they aren’t.Maybe,one day,I’ll find that true love and post about how “Love is life” or something like that.I’m just a guy born in 1996.So,maybe I’ll come across couples that might answer these questions for me..or my friends might have fallen in love and I might get an answer to these questions of mine.Until then,these questions will keep buzzing in my head.
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect—you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”
― Bob Marley